We shall meet again.

I hate goodbyes. I know it's a very cliche thing to say but yes I said it. I am not the kind of person who can't let go or move on when the time is right. I didn't cry at my school or college farewell. I know I won't cry when my current course ends. Because I know from the beginning that this end will come. But when it's sudden and unexpected I find myself not liking the feeling. It's uncomfortable. It leaves a lump in the throat. It makes me sentimental. 

The word goodbye is dreadful. A simple bye seems less final. I like the idea of saying "I am coming back" instead of saying "I am going." Bengalis and Maharashratrians have this tradition. 

In Bengal when we celebrate Durga Puja and when Maa leaves us on the 10th day, we chant "Asche bochor abar hobe. "- This will happen again next year. " Maa is not leaving us, she will be back next year. 

In German there is a saying that says you don't meet a person just once. So if you're saying goodbye , know that you shall meet again. 

This  cheers me up. Goodbyes need not be forever. We part so that we can meet again. 

The next time I need to say goodbye  I will say instead "Until we meet again."

Update: To read my poem on Goodbyes and letting go "And then sadness prevailed click  here. 
I have also written a piece on trying to cope with my granddad's death. Read it here

Of whatsapp and helplessness and LDRs

The most important thing in any relationship is communication. But for people in a LDR it IS our lifeline. It's the only thing that keeps us going through days, weeks and months apart from the person we love. 

When communication fails because of technical  problems, it is frustrating. Not only frustrating but greatly annoying. I depend a lot on whatsapp to talk to A. And for some network problem, my messages are delivering really late, for the last few days. We haven't been able to chat properly. Phone conversations everyday are not possible. 

It is still possible for us to call each other up. A friend of mine is also in  LDR. His girlfriend is in USA. They can't even call each other up every time the net is down. 

Technology is apparently a great boon for people like us. But we are so used to it that when it fails we tear our hair apart. One feels so very helpless. 

The internet is vital. It makes talking everyday easier. But it does in  no way replace the security, the warm fuzzy feeling of us being in the same city. Of being able to meet whenever we want.

Communication is important. It sucks to have to depend on the moodiness of net for it. Hopefully A's whatsapp stops being moody and works properly again. Soon. 

P.S I hope that the long distance part is temporary. It's not something I had planned o. But things don't work according to our plans,  do they?

Here's a cute youtube sog about goodbyes by  regular indie youtuber Bryarly Bishop Hard to say goodbye



"And I won't lie - it's hard to say goodbye

 It's one of those things that won't get easier with time
But if you wait, I promise I'll wait, too
Until the day that I can make my way to you "

Dating sucks: My entry for the Get Published contest

"Love is a four letter word with infinite power"

I don't like cheesy love quotes but I like this one. I can relate to it. Love definitely has a lot of power. Things change when you fall in love.

Though I have written fiction I have not written a lovestory yet. And now I want to. Lovestories seem simple right? Boy meets girl; they fall in love; live happily ever after(or not). But I don't think writing a lovestory is that easy. There is a lot of emotion involved. That is why I have never really attempted one. I think I will, now that HarperCollins has a contest on Indiblogger. Bloggers can write about "Real Love in New India. " Good incentive right? And since I do have a plot...


My story revolves around Kaashvi Sahni, a 21 year old drummer who wants to form her own band. Its about how her journey of discovering love. Its about having to kiss many toads before you even have a shot at finding your prince(Failed dates, first kisses, bike rides, long walks, phone calls, facebook chats. A little hesitation and loads of confusion. That's what finding love is all about. 

Kaashvi's search for "the one" began when she was 18, when she decides to go on her first date. And now, at age 21,  a couple of break ups and countless dates later, she hadn't found her special someone . But she is determined. She decides to chronicle her experiences in her blog. The question she wants an answer to is something all of us have asked at some point of time. Do we need to find love or does love find us? 

When I was  thinking about what kind of lovestory I want to write my mind wandered and I recalled all the stupid blind dates I had gone through, all the jerks I had encountered, all the confusion and all the heartbreak I went through.  Just to find that "special someone". The things we do to find love! I think the whole process of dating is stressful. And this is what inspired me to write about a girl my age who goes through all of this(like everyone else.) Being a blogger myself I decided to tell Kaashvi's story through her blog. 
Sounds interesting? I call it old wine in a slightly new bottle.

Extract: Kaashvi's first blog entry-Dating sucks. It really does. I am not saying that love sucks and that I don’t believe in love. All I am saying is dating sucks, The whole process of dating. The mind games, the trying to impress a person; the trying to understand if the other person as emotionally involved as you are; all this is too stressful. I don’t know much about love but I have been on too many bad dates. I have been in a relationship in the past but right now I am single. I think for the last few years I have been trying to understand what love is. I still haven’t been able to figure it out. In the process of finding “love” I have obviously gone through the motions of dating. I now realise that I hate it. I hate the whole proceed of dating. I used to blog about music and will still do but now I want to write about my experiences and what I feel about love.

This is my entry for the Harper Collins-IndiBlogger Get published contest which is run with inputs from HarperCollins India and Yashodhara Lal



P.S If you think you would like to read my story when it's done, do vote for me here. 

Khushi, lights, pollution

I don't do anything systematically. Not even pouring oil into diyas. I just pour it randomly and see which one I have missed. I am weird.

I didn't make a rangoli this year, for Diwali. We didn't light up our home with colourful electrical lights. Neither are we bursting crackers. No, we are not mourning. We are just lazy and environment friendly. And maybe a bit lame for not celebrating Diwali properly.

Anyway. The point is. Happy Diwali. Etc etc. May this Diwali bring prosperity in your lives. Just go read facebook status updates for joyous greetings. Don't make me type all this.

P.S: Please make sure you don't call woman "bomb", "pataka", "fuljhari". She has a name, call her by that name. And if you don't know it, you have no need to call her. Period. 

How to murder someone is an important thing to know.

I am thinking of ways of murdering people. People get away with murder. What kind of murder will I get away with? I was wondering. And asked a few friends too. They unfortunately could not give me a satisfactory answer. Either I have violent tendencies or a very keen curiosity about murders. 

It's a weird thing to admit. I want to make a list of ways of murdering people and getting away with it.  I hope I don't get arrested for writing this. But I do need to know how to murder people. For research. In case I want to write about  murders in the future. 

I wonder if someone has written a manual for it.