To weigh or not. That is the question

After years of body issues I looked myself at the mirror today and exclaimed "I am thin!". Not that I was fat before but I always fell under the 'slim" category  A category made by popular media to categorise  people who were not fat and  were neither thin as a stick. I always had a thin waist but because of my  heavy upper body I could never call myself 'thin'. Even if I looked at myself in the mirror and thought for a moment that maybe, just maybe I am thin I would be reminded by the media that I have curves which prevented me from being called 'thin'. 

I realise that I am thinner than most people I thought were thinner than me. I have been delusional about my weight for so many years. 

Because of street harassers and because of  the media I was subjugated to I was ashamed of my body. Ashamed of how I looked. Today I can look into the mirror and be happy about my figure.  It's true that I have somehow lost a few inches in the last year but that surely is not my biggest achievement. 

No matter how much weight I lose my body type won't change. There was a time when I wanted it to. Now I don't. I have accepted myself the way I am. I don't care if the popular social culture hasn't. Yes, I want to exercise and yes I want to avoid junk food and have a healthier lifestyle. But that has nothing to do with me losing weight. I have discovered the joys of walking and I don't want any heart problems in the future. 

Another "it's been ages since I have written" post.

I haven't blogged for a while because there has been nothing new to blog about. I have shifted back to Calcutta but that news is not what I consider blog worthy.

There has been quite a lot of stuff I have been dealing with but the problem is that I can't bitch about it here. For starters the people I want to bitch about read my blog and I certainly don't want my life to be hell. 

So much as I want to I really cant bitch about THAT stuff here. 

Shucks.

And well a word of advice. Don't add relatives on facebook. You end up offending some of them and censoring the stuff you write. And they tend to comment on your posts when all you want to do is avoid them. 

There should be a family book or atleast a different account for family where you can be all sweet and non-scandalous. I can dream, can't i?

I check fb just to share feminist media. Mainstream media has no place for feminism and show no signs of changing. Social networking sites .do help to an extent but they too have weird policies which most of the time are anti-feminist. 

Anyway. Once again, I am rambling. 

Just a small thought before I shut up and do other stuff. I want to be honest. It's sad that these days most people are shocked by honestly and less by deceit. I guess I like shocking people. 

Stood up

She was dressed up. Her favourite red dress. And her mother’s pearls. She had even curled her hair.

Waiting wasn't tough. She was used to it.

She looked at her watch for the 10^th time. Hours passed by. At midnight she got up and went inside her room. And went to sleep in the dress

My own commandments

Most of the commandments are for me. You may relate with some of them. I am not trying to be preachy, though I may sound like it. Fair warning. 

#1  Thou shall not feel stupid if thou is clumsy


Thou art not the only one. Some people are clumsy. Some people trip over stuff. Some people bump themselves several times a day. It's okay to be a klutz. You will have days when things will not fall. When you will not accidentally cut yourself while you absently played with scissors. Feel blessed. 

Note to self: Not to be forgotten.

I read something today. It has inspired me to lead life on my own terms.  It was a list of 25 things you don't need to justify to others. Many times we feel the need to justify our life to others. But do you really need to? It was a wake up call. I need to be happy. And therefore I need to do stuff that makes me happy.

Unless I take a step towards my dream it won't get fulfilled on it's own. I can't sit around waiting for it to happen.

So there. Lesson learnt. I hope I don't forget it. Someone please keep reminding me. I am forgetful.