100 Words: Suicide

Dear All

This is not a suicide note. This is a “the world does not need me” note. I have a philosophy- don’t stay where you are not needed. I cannot stay here. Not now. Not ever. I knew this would happen some day. I can’t focus anymore. I can’t even see this paper properly. My hand is shaking too much.

I don’t want to stay here any longer. It pains too much. I have been lying to the world all along. But I can’t lie to myself anymore. Please don’t mourn me.  That’s my only wish.

With love,

Kritika

It's only tears

I am so PMSy these days. Not in the angry sort of way. But things make me cry. Yesterday I was listening to Tum gaye ho kyu from the movie Dum Maro Dum. It's a really sad song and it made me cry. I was singing along with the radio and then I realised I was crying. 


And today I was watching this ad of a new show and someone was singing a really touching song and it made me cry. 




For some reason I have become very emotional and extra sensitive. It's just one of my phases. But what if I burst out crying at every emotional scene on TV?  I anyway cry when I read the sad parts of my favourite books AND when  I read good poetry.  And now sad songs are making me cry?


What has gotten into me!

Lotus Stem Part 5

Read the rest of the story

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4


“What happened to Uday yaar? Disappeared!” Virat asked his brother.

“He left. He called me an hour ago. Some urgent business.” The soon to be married groom said.

“Suddenly?”

“I don’t know man. He could have stayed for a few more hours. He came all the way for my wedding and left so suddenly yaar. What the hell is wrong with him?”

“Weird guy, I tell you. Seriously. By the way Bhabhi was looking great at the haldi today huh? You were staring at her like crazy. Too smitten you are bro, too smitten!”

………… 

“Mama, mausi is crying”

“Is she now? “ Lalitha looked up as her 10 year old daughter entered the room.

“Yes”

Aarti paused. Her mother continued folding clothes. Soon it would be time for them to go back home.

“Is it because Nandita di got married and left?”

“Yes beta, Mausi will miss her.”

“Even Mrinalini di is leaving. Ranno is packing her bag.”

“Yes, she is leaving”

“Can’t she stay?”

“She is not well, na”

“She has schizophrenia right?”

Lalitha was shocked. She got up.

“Who told you that Aarti? “

“I heard Mausi talk on the phone…”

Lalitha sat down again. After a bout of silence she spoke again to her puzzled daughter.

“Yes beta, your Mrinalini di is suffering from schizophrenia. It has robbed her of her life” she mumbled.

“Maybe she will come back when she gets married.” Aarti smiled.

“I don’t think she will get married Aarti”

“She will Mama. And we will dance at her wedding too!”

Aarti danced out of the room.

………… 

Finire

Lotus Stem Part 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

“Hey!” Mrinalini whispered as soon as she spotted Uday on the terrace.

“You scared me! I was just going down. The guys have made a makeshift bar…”

“Come with me”

“Where?” If Uday was unsure, he didn’t show it.

“Just come.”

Mrinalini looked at him in the eye and caught hold of his hand. A slow grin formed itself in Uday’s face.

No one was there on the stairs. She pulled him along, behind her.

“You don’t have to hold my hand, I am coming with you” Uday said with a laugh.

Mrinalini didn’t say anything. Neither did she let go.

“Not that I have a problem. No issues. Infact, I am enjoying this. “

Uday couldn’t stop smiling. A smile made up of anticipation.

She led him to the first floor. Her bedroom was in the right hand corner.

………… 

‘Oh god! Bedroom! She’s taking me to her bedroom! I didn’t expect this! Wow!’ Uday was now getting excited. He had been right; she too could feel the sexual tension between them. The chemistry he felt was not missed by her. This was going places he had wanted to…

Won’t they miss us? Her family would miss her surely. She was the sister. But why do I care if she doesn’t? I am just glad she wants this too.

Mrinalini unlocked her door.

“Come in” she said quietly.

He strode in. Neat room. As if she didn’t stay there. She didn’t seem to have many things.

He heard a click, she had locked the door.

Should I unbutton my shirt Uday wondered, trying to understand what to do next. Maybe I don’t need to think. She is taking the lead; she would do all the thinking. He would just sit back and enjoy the show. And why not? She was bold too and he liked bold woman. I am so glad I came. To think that I had almost cancelled.

Mrinalini had swiftly walked towards her dressing table. She was taking something out from her drawer.

Was that…

It took her 15 seconds to walk back to him. She caught him by the collar. That’s when he saw what was in her hand. Shining. Polished.

“Oh my god Mrinalini! What are you doing?! Move that knife away!”

“I will not let you kill me. I will kill you before that” she said gently.

“What?” Uday started struggling to get free. What was wrong with this woman? Her grip was strong.

She was aiming for his neck. Her hands weakened for a moment. He broke free.

She tried to stop him from unlocking the door. Caught him from behind. The knife was brushing against him. Somehow, he unbolted the door and fled downstairs as fast as he could.

………… 

Read the last part of this  story here

Lotus Stem Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Interesting female, this Mrinalini. And what eyes. What bewitching eyes. What is wrong with you, you moron. Stop thinking about her! And those brown eyes.

She was not like others. She seemed so uninterested in everything. As if no one mattered. Her eyes didn’t stay at one place but when they did her gaze was steady. When she looked directly at you it was as if she was looking right through you.

It somehow looked as if she was searching for something. Sometimes, he felt; she had found it and was making sure it was what she was searching for.

Yesterday was surreal. She had stayed away from the Sangeet, preferring to sit with him in the terrace. They had talked. She was so quiet when she was listening it seemed she wasn’t even there.

Her eyes moved when she talked. And she sat so still.

He had almost kissed her. Her lips would have felt nice. Soft. She would have felt wonderful. He would kiss her. Just to be sure what it felt like.

He was sure she wanted to be kissed. Mrinalini, with her bewitching eyes.

………… 

She looked absolutely stunning. Yes, stunning was the word for it. What was that colour? Orange? Light orange? Girls had a better name for it…

Her toes were peeping out of her sandals. Glass sandals. One Cinderella she was. And he would sweep her away…

Mrinalini was looking around, trying to locate her mother. What did she look like today? There were too many people around. Too much jibber jabber that she couldn’t make out.

The morning of a wedding is always hectic. The haldi ceremony like all the other rituals was delayed. The guests didn’t mind. They were busy devouring the breakfast spread.

The bride meanwhile, upstairs in her room was panicking. She hadn’t worn her yellow and white churidar and kurta yet. And she was crying. She was allowed to; she hadn’t put on her makeup.

“It’s my wedding day already! She said desperately. ‘I am getting married! I don’t want to get married” she pouted.

“This is a nightmare”she announced to her mother and best friend Shreya. The bride to be’s mother was meanwhile tearing her hair out. Shreya urged her to get ready. Nandita refused to.

“I hate this mom! Why did I ever buy this? Yellow! Who wears yellow?” she was now hysterical.

Hassled, Leena said, “It’s traditional to wear yellow during the haldi.”

“It goes with the haldi” Shreya pointed out only to be admonished with a loud “shut up”.

Leena was now panicking. Yash was constantly calling her up, asking her what exactly was wrong. She needed to go down, attend to the guests. She called up Lalitha, hoping she could make her niece calm down.

No one noticed that Mrinalini had disappeared.

…………