Hear me out, will you?

So I am in my room drinking ( I have a secret stash of Chivas Regal. Don't ask me how.) and writing shit when I realise that I feel like smoking. ( I also have a seceret stash of ciggys though I am not a smoker.)

So I go to the bathroom and smoke and since I was also having chocolate I am already a bit high. So I started thinking about meta writing. Is that even a thing? Must be! So I was thinking of the whole process of writing ( more precisely blogging ) and it came down to one thing. No matter what someone claims blogging can't be personal. It never is. We all do it for an audience. I mean, if we wanted it to be personal we would write an effing diary or something.

But I feel even personal diaries ain't personal. There is a desire (even a tiny little one) in all of to be heard. So there this wish, that maybe just maybe someone will be sneaky and read our thoughts. And maybe just a few lines written specifically for an audience, will creep in. 

I want to be read. Even though writing is a very personal thing for me; when I write for my blog I want an audience. 

It's all about puttting forward your opinion.

Hey world I exist and this is what I think! 

The point is that no one cares a damn. Unless you're famous. Or in Bollywood. Then you can say shit and everyone cares. So you get down to your knees   ( Why would you do that? Why did I write that? I hope I am not high enough to write shit because I know I will post this anyway.)

No doubt blogging helps you improve as a writer ( in a bid to be read you try to improve your style etc etc ) 

How do you people do it? See a dream, wake up and write it down. If I remember to write mine down will I get a bestseller?

Sorry for the tangent. (Please remember that I am downing expensive whiskey like I would down cheap vodka. You're supposed to savour these things but I am not. Sue me. )

Am I trying to appeal to a wider audience? I don't know yet. What I do know is I am trying to improve as a writer. (Hope that works soon. )

I need to avoid using parentheses ( I always called them brackets) but I seem to love them. I need to be more creative. I need to give it more time. I need to do so many things. 

But right now I need to tell myself-"Slow down baby, you're no waterfall" 

P. S: I'm too high to do anymore meta thinking. kthnxbai