Stood up

She was dressed up. Her favourite red dress. And her mother’s pearls. She had even curled her hair.

Waiting wasn't tough. She was used to it.

She looked at her watch for the 10^th time. Hours passed by. At midnight she got up and went inside her room. And went to sleep in the dress

On the terrace

 She could see the cars drive by. It was a long way down. She felt dizzy. But was determined. No one would come up at this hour. She would do it now. Her phone rang. Nina was  calling.

“Where are you? I have been waiting  here for ages.”

She  sighed and stepped down the ledge.

U: 100 words: Ultimate power

Ultimately she would have her way. He would be hers. He did not love her. But he would. Sooner or later. She had her charms. No man, had ever been able to resist her. And she knew that.

She wanted him. She knew he didn't love her. She wasn't sure if she did. But she was definitely attracted. No man had ignored her before. This man had dared to. Had the power to. She would strip him off this power.

He would fall hopelessly in love with her. And then, she would leave. Shredding his heart into pieces. Like always.

100 Words: Suicide

Dear All

This is not a suicide note. This is a “the world does not need me” note. I have a philosophy- don’t stay where you are not needed. I cannot stay here. Not now. Not ever. I knew this would happen some day. I can’t focus anymore. I can’t even see this paper properly. My hand is shaking too much.

I don’t want to stay here any longer. It pains too much. I have been lying to the world all along. But I can’t lie to myself anymore. Please don’t mourn me.  That’s my only wish.

With love,

Kritika

Lotus Stem Part 5

Read the rest of the story

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4


“What happened to Uday yaar? Disappeared!” Virat asked his brother.

“He left. He called me an hour ago. Some urgent business.” The soon to be married groom said.

“Suddenly?”

“I don’t know man. He could have stayed for a few more hours. He came all the way for my wedding and left so suddenly yaar. What the hell is wrong with him?”

“Weird guy, I tell you. Seriously. By the way Bhabhi was looking great at the haldi today huh? You were staring at her like crazy. Too smitten you are bro, too smitten!”

………… 

“Mama, mausi is crying”

“Is she now? “ Lalitha looked up as her 10 year old daughter entered the room.

“Yes”

Aarti paused. Her mother continued folding clothes. Soon it would be time for them to go back home.

“Is it because Nandita di got married and left?”

“Yes beta, Mausi will miss her.”

“Even Mrinalini di is leaving. Ranno is packing her bag.”

“Yes, she is leaving”

“Can’t she stay?”

“She is not well, na”

“She has schizophrenia right?”

Lalitha was shocked. She got up.

“Who told you that Aarti? “

“I heard Mausi talk on the phone…”

Lalitha sat down again. After a bout of silence she spoke again to her puzzled daughter.

“Yes beta, your Mrinalini di is suffering from schizophrenia. It has robbed her of her life” she mumbled.

“Maybe she will come back when she gets married.” Aarti smiled.

“I don’t think she will get married Aarti”

“She will Mama. And we will dance at her wedding too!”

Aarti danced out of the room.

………… 

Finire

Lotus Stem Part 4

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

“Hey!” Mrinalini whispered as soon as she spotted Uday on the terrace.

“You scared me! I was just going down. The guys have made a makeshift bar…”

“Come with me”

“Where?” If Uday was unsure, he didn’t show it.

“Just come.”

Mrinalini looked at him in the eye and caught hold of his hand. A slow grin formed itself in Uday’s face.

No one was there on the stairs. She pulled him along, behind her.

“You don’t have to hold my hand, I am coming with you” Uday said with a laugh.

Mrinalini didn’t say anything. Neither did she let go.

“Not that I have a problem. No issues. Infact, I am enjoying this. “

Uday couldn’t stop smiling. A smile made up of anticipation.

She led him to the first floor. Her bedroom was in the right hand corner.

………… 

‘Oh god! Bedroom! She’s taking me to her bedroom! I didn’t expect this! Wow!’ Uday was now getting excited. He had been right; she too could feel the sexual tension between them. The chemistry he felt was not missed by her. This was going places he had wanted to…

Won’t they miss us? Her family would miss her surely. She was the sister. But why do I care if she doesn’t? I am just glad she wants this too.

Mrinalini unlocked her door.

“Come in” she said quietly.

He strode in. Neat room. As if she didn’t stay there. She didn’t seem to have many things.

He heard a click, she had locked the door.

Should I unbutton my shirt Uday wondered, trying to understand what to do next. Maybe I don’t need to think. She is taking the lead; she would do all the thinking. He would just sit back and enjoy the show. And why not? She was bold too and he liked bold woman. I am so glad I came. To think that I had almost cancelled.

Mrinalini had swiftly walked towards her dressing table. She was taking something out from her drawer.

Was that…

It took her 15 seconds to walk back to him. She caught him by the collar. That’s when he saw what was in her hand. Shining. Polished.

“Oh my god Mrinalini! What are you doing?! Move that knife away!”

“I will not let you kill me. I will kill you before that” she said gently.

“What?” Uday started struggling to get free. What was wrong with this woman? Her grip was strong.

She was aiming for his neck. Her hands weakened for a moment. He broke free.

She tried to stop him from unlocking the door. Caught him from behind. The knife was brushing against him. Somehow, he unbolted the door and fled downstairs as fast as he could.

………… 

Read the last part of this  story here

Lotus Stem Part 3

Part 1

Part 2

Interesting female, this Mrinalini. And what eyes. What bewitching eyes. What is wrong with you, you moron. Stop thinking about her! And those brown eyes.

She was not like others. She seemed so uninterested in everything. As if no one mattered. Her eyes didn’t stay at one place but when they did her gaze was steady. When she looked directly at you it was as if she was looking right through you.

It somehow looked as if she was searching for something. Sometimes, he felt; she had found it and was making sure it was what she was searching for.

Yesterday was surreal. She had stayed away from the Sangeet, preferring to sit with him in the terrace. They had talked. She was so quiet when she was listening it seemed she wasn’t even there.

Her eyes moved when she talked. And she sat so still.

He had almost kissed her. Her lips would have felt nice. Soft. She would have felt wonderful. He would kiss her. Just to be sure what it felt like.

He was sure she wanted to be kissed. Mrinalini, with her bewitching eyes.

………… 

She looked absolutely stunning. Yes, stunning was the word for it. What was that colour? Orange? Light orange? Girls had a better name for it…

Her toes were peeping out of her sandals. Glass sandals. One Cinderella she was. And he would sweep her away…

Mrinalini was looking around, trying to locate her mother. What did she look like today? There were too many people around. Too much jibber jabber that she couldn’t make out.

The morning of a wedding is always hectic. The haldi ceremony like all the other rituals was delayed. The guests didn’t mind. They were busy devouring the breakfast spread.

The bride meanwhile, upstairs in her room was panicking. She hadn’t worn her yellow and white churidar and kurta yet. And she was crying. She was allowed to; she hadn’t put on her makeup.

“It’s my wedding day already! She said desperately. ‘I am getting married! I don’t want to get married” she pouted.

“This is a nightmare”she announced to her mother and best friend Shreya. The bride to be’s mother was meanwhile tearing her hair out. Shreya urged her to get ready. Nandita refused to.

“I hate this mom! Why did I ever buy this? Yellow! Who wears yellow?” she was now hysterical.

Hassled, Leena said, “It’s traditional to wear yellow during the haldi.”

“It goes with the haldi” Shreya pointed out only to be admonished with a loud “shut up”.

Leena was now panicking. Yash was constantly calling her up, asking her what exactly was wrong. She needed to go down, attend to the guests. She called up Lalitha, hoping she could make her niece calm down.

No one noticed that Mrinalini had disappeared.

………… 

Lotus Stem Part 2

For part 1 of this story go here

She slammed the door shut. Standing outside her house; a place she hadn’t lived in for years; she contemplated going in. She wondered what was going on. So many people going inside. Some coming out. Music. Dhol. That was the dhol. People carrying trays of colorful drinks. Trays of food. Her house. The place that had been her home. It was unrecognizable.

Chaos.

A wedding is always chaotic. However organised one is during the various planning sessions, it always ultimately seems frenzied. Perfect is not the word used by parents organising their daughter’s wedding.

Things go wrong. That is the nature of weddings.

Her sister’s wedding. She was here for Nandita’s wedding. She had stopped calling her di when she turned 16. Nandi. Shiv’s Vaahan.

She could see her mother. Maybe she would approach her. And shake hands.

“Mrinu! My dear” her mother screeched while wobbling towards her daughter. It was difficult, with the saree.

“Stop hugging me! I don’t like it.” Mrinalini pulled away from Leena, agitated.

“Oh, sorry sorry. Sorry beta. It’s just that I have seen you after a long time.”

‘Yes. Okay. Fine.” Mrinalini looked away. Then exclaimed-“Ha”

“You’ve cut your hair? “ Leena suddenly noticed Mrinalini’s cropped hair.

“Yep. Did it myself.”

“Why?” Leena was aghast.

“I like it”

“It’s so short! Like a boy’s cut.”

“Yeah. It was too long and curly. I like it now. Can’t we go in mom?”

“Yes beta. Come, come. “

“You don’t have to hold my hand, I am not 5. Do I know all these people?”

………… 

Uday. A vision at 5’11”. Chiseled looks and what charm. The groom’s colleague from Delhi. Woman hovered around him. Even the forty year olds.

He was instantly drawn to Mrinalini. Sitting on her own, not talking. Her eyes never rested at one place. Her face was pale. She looked child like with the salwar kameez flowing over her billowy figure. There was something about her eyes. Lost, brown eyes.

He looked around. The lawn was filled with people. Everyone was busy celebrating. Someone called out for the food to be laid out. Giggling girls were flitting everywhere. Jewellery adorned ladies whispering loudly. Mrinalini, aloof from it all was just sitting there. Quietly staring.

Uday pulled up a chair beside her.

“Hi, Uday is the name.”

She didn’t say anything. Dreaming, he thought.

“Hi” he said, this time louder.

Her eyes shifted. She looked at him.

“Uday” he repeated.

She just laughed and went inside.

Bewildered, he looked at the shadow she had left behind.

…………

He was watching the girls dancing. Her eyes followed each of his movements. When he raised his hand to wave at one of them. When he doubled up in laughter at a joke uncle said. When he walked to the bar to get his 1st drink. When he went again with friends, for his 2nd and 3rd drink.

Every movement was watched.

And then he turned. She was behind him.

“Hello” she said quietly, steadily.

“Hey! You look gorgeous!” he smiled at her.

“Hmm. Do you know my name?”

“You are Nandita’s sister babe. I know. Mrinalini is a beautiful name. It suits you. “

“What do they call you?”

“They call me many things. Uday is the name though.”

“Hmm. Uday.”

“Yes. I told you in the morning. Why did you ignore me then?”

“When? I didn’t ignore you…”

“You did. I introduced myself. You didn’t speak a word.”

“I know I didn’t talk.”

“And?”

“There’s a difference.” Mrinalini paused. She looked around, feeling restless, then continued as an afterthought. “Between ignoring and not talking.”

…………

For Part 3 of this story go here

Lotus Stem

“So Mrinalini is coming?”

“Yes.”

“And you think this is right beta?

“Yes. She is Nandita’s sister Ma, and my daughter.”

“And she isn’t something to me? That’s what you’re trying to say? She is my granddaughter Yash! I have seen her grow up!”

“I am not trying to say anything Ma, “

“That I don’t love her?”

“I didn’t say that” Yash shouted. The stress of the wedding was already getting to him. And now this. He didn’t want to deal with drama. Not today.

“What’s going on dad?” Nandita entered the living room, shocked.

“Nothing beta” Yash smiled. His elder daughter was looking pretty. He was a proud father today. His daughter would become a married woman in just a few days.

“You were shouting?”

“Nothing to worry about sweetheart. You go get ready.”

“Have you sent the car for Nalu?”

Ya, she will be arriving soon am sure.”

“Oh good! I can’t wait! It has been so long. I haven’t seen her since I’ve come back. I am so excited Papa! Nalu’s gonna be here!”

“Yes beta”

“I am going to get ready. And don’t worry so much na…”

“Oh your father will never change my darling! Her grandmother chimed.

“Dadi! Stop teasing him!”

………… 

“Will she come, didi?”

“Ofcourse Lalitha. Yash has sent the car”

“Is someone coming with her?”

“No, no. She can come on her own. They said she could.”

“When did you meet last?”

“Last month! She is so much better now. Yash and I are so happy. And now that Nandita is getting married…”

“Oh didi, don’t cry…I'm sure everything is going to be fine…” 

“Yes, yes ofcourse. “ Leena wiped the stray tear. “Come on. There is so much left to do. Help me pack all these gifts. See, this is for Jagya Masi. This one is for Ashu’s wife. And see this saree. Is it good? It’s for Nandi’s mother in law…”

………… 

Posting a full length short story for the first time. Will continue if I get a positive response. Do comment if you like it. 

For Part 2 go here

How to kill people: A killer guide.

WARNING: May seem offensive to most people. Not to be taken seriously. I am in no means suggesting any sort of action. If you do not like the following feel free to ignore. 


What is the best way to kill yourself?  I am thinking of  about suicide. Either way I say it it sounds as if I want to kill myself. Well I don't. I am perfectly happy with my life. I am just wondering about suicide. Not deep philosophical thoughts about what makes people commit suicide. Neither am I thinking about statistics and the growing rates of suicide. Mine is just an  inquiry about what would be the best way to kill yourself. I may get someone to commit suicide. Note that this someone will be fictional. 


I want to create a  suicide that is fool-proof. Idiot-proof. 


Or maybe a suicide that looks like murder. Thrillers anyone? This is getting exciting! I am now thinking of not only a fool-proof/idiot proof suicide but also one that resembles a murder. 


Asphyxia. People wrongly assume that choking is another name for Asphyxia, when it is only an example. Asphyxia is deficit supply of oxygen to the body.  And it sounds good on paper. Very Agatha Christie-ish huh? But then I don't think it is a DIY task.


Poison seems like a good idea. But which one? I can only think of Cyanide. Again an Agatha Christie influence. 


Maybe I should think bollywood. Maybe not. Bollywood suicides are very simple- sleeping pills. Sounds pretty cliche and therefore boring. 


Over dose of drugs sounds  interesting but is also over-used. Will not do. 


I am trying to hatch an elaborate suicide  attempt. Again I must mention here that it's  for a future fictional character. 


Voodoo. Make a doll that looks like you and stab it with needles. That could work actually. 


Ah! Maybe I can brew something out of this. Anticipation. My notebook awaits. 

100 Words: Hell

As I lie here dying I can only do one thing-smile. For I am not angry, nor sad. I am happy, you know. I will smile, even if it is the last thing I do. 

I have so much to say but I can’t speak. My throat is dry but no one can give me water. I am alone in the house that was once mine. All alone.

 All I wish now is for someone to hear my thoughts.

I’ll vanish without a trace and not a  soul will know my story.  Maybe it doesn’t matter. I wish it did. 

Two Jacks and a queen

“Crush your ‘oh I love you so much ‘thoughts for me Anant. Gutter ke pani mein dooba do unhe. My interest level in you is a little less than a lion’s interest in grass for lunch.”

“Why do you have to keep on insulting me just because I told you that I love you”


“Anant, you love miniature paintings. You love Thai curry. You don’t go about declaring your love for it every two days.”


“Thai curry? What has that got to do with anything ? But I do love it. See the point is your logic is totally haywire. Why should I… Oh just forget it. I don’t know why I fell in love with you. And I do not. I do not declare my love for you every two days. I may mention it once in a while…"

“Once in a while?”

“Ok. More than that. Whenever I feel the need to remind you”

“Every two days”

“Not every two days”

“yup”

“Nope”

“And why are we arguing about this. Bunk it. This love you have? Can’t you love someone else?”


“You’re kidding. I hope you are. The point is, why don’t you accept the fact that I love you. Just accept it Misha”

“Ok fine. Whatever. What I don’t understand is why did you ever fall for me.”

“I don’t know. I seriously don’t know.”

Jeane at it again

Jeane was sitting comfortably in her bedroom, humming her little tune, when she thought of something. Do people base their own opinion on other peoples views? Are we dependent on others for our perspective?  Are we scared to take out our view from  dusty cupboard because it may be rejected? Do we care so much about what others think. If others hate magenta coloured thoughts and we love it, we agree that magenta thoughts are absolutely horrid. I mean our we scarred of ourselves. Maybe magenta is a genius thought. Newton and all other people who discovered stuff were not scared of colouring their world different. People don't always have to agree.

End

END

Beginings and endings are the same. Differences are negligible. Like a second begins, it ends and then begins. with no diffrence between one second and the next. Beginings merge into ends. Breathe in. Out. Begins and ends and begins. Again and again. Ends are beginingless, beginings are endless. It's all alike. Endings and beginings are the same.

BEGIN