Saturday, April 27, 2013

To weigh or not. That is the question

After years of body issues I looked myself at the mirror today and exclaimed "I am thin!". Not that I was fat before but I always fell under the 'slim" category  A category made by popular media to categorise  people who were not fat and  were neither thin as a stick. I always had a thin waist but because of my  heavy upper body I could never call myself 'thin'. Even if I looked at myself in the mirror and thought for a moment that maybe, just maybe I am thin I would be reminded by the media that I have curves which prevented me from being called 'thin'. 

I realise that I am thinner than most people I thought were thinner than me. I have been delusional about my weight for so many years. 

Because of street harassers and because of  the media I was subjugated to I was ashamed of my body. Ashamed of how I looked. Today I can look into the mirror and be happy about my figure.  It's true that I have somehow lost a few inches in the last year but that surely is not my biggest achievement. 

No matter how much weight I lose my body type won't change. There was a time when I wanted it to. Now I don't. I have accepted myself the way I am. I don't care if the popular social culture hasn't. Yes, I want to exercise and yes I want to avoid junk food and have a healthier lifestyle. But that has nothing to do with me losing weight. I have discovered the joys of walking and I don't want any heart problems in the future. 

I do have a body image. I do want to maintain a certain figure and a certain weight but I won't bang my head and stress over this anymore. Neither will I be  condescending of people who are thinner or fatter than me. I will still call a thin person thin and a fat person fat but I certainly won't tell anyone that if only they lose  or gain weight   they would "look" better. 

If you want to lose weight, then good for you. But don't do it because the media says you have to. Do it if you feel like it. It's your body. It's your choice. And if you're thin and people tell you that you need curves because only curvy woman are "real" tell them to shut the f*** up. It's your body. Be proud of it. 

Media sells you a lot of crap. Body issues is one of them. 

As for me, I will not be hiding my curves anymore. I won't be wishing I didn't have them. I accept my body. I bl**dy love my body!

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