Friday, February 10, 2012

Ah, it's your turn now

I think a favourite hobby (and a common one they share) of the 50+ people I live with is discussing the marriage eligibility of relatives of my generation ( i.e my cousins; both distant and non-distant) They participated in this hobby even today. As they were counting off people( mostly in their twenties, some touching thirty) they also mentioned my cousin V's name. Now this, is a cause of alarm. V is only a year older.  That makes me eligible(if not now, a year later.) And THAT is SCARY. 

Many of my cousins got married in the last 5 years. Many. AK is exasperated at the number of relatives/cousins I have. (And the number of times I have told her that a cousin of mine is getting married.) She says she can't keep count. Honesty, neither can I. 

Not what we do
Anyway, back to the subject of eligibility. It crops up every few weeks. At dinner time. ( I am surprised at the frequency of it) I am  both   amused and bemused at these discussions. Amused because they take such relish in counting of names of people who can get married ("some of them according to social norm should as soon as they can grab someone" is the unsaid statement ) I am bemused because they will not tire of this hobby. Once all of these people are married, am sure they will come up with new names( I am curious about how that goes) They may come up with a new subject to indulge in- kids(as in how many married people need to have kids) To be fair they have never discussed the possible future kids of the already married ones. 

This hobby also makes me think of something that creeps me out. It is not creep-worthy, but still. There may be some random uncle/aunty/relative(distant or non-distant) who may be including my name in their dinner time(or tea time) discussion about the "Eligibility Factor". Because I know that most aunties and uncles and grandmotherly figures discuss the possible marriage of other people's kids. It's as if it's upon them to get the next generation married. 

I am intrigued by this phenomenon. I am not saying that I don't like the idea of marriage. I do. I  just don't understand why  someone's eligibility is everyone's business. XYZ will get married when she wants to. Why discuss it? You don't have to pay her marriage bills. You don't have to organise the various events associated with a wedding. They just have to turn up (if they are invited) and congratulate the couple and hand them something. It's not as if these people have nothing else to do. ( ok, some of them have nothing else to do) My parents do have things to do and other interesting things to discuss. I think it's just a habit. Because of the social norm factor. 

The 50+ people in my house are also victims of the social norm.( like most of us) And they simply cant help it.  

P.S: Anyone who knows anyone who is eligible please contribute names to my parents. They will love to have extra people in their list. 

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