Growing up with the wizard with specs

I was in class five then. My friend Pratiti told me about a great new book- Harry Potter. She told me I absolutely have to read it! Somehow her excitement intrigued me. When my bhua came for a visit and asked me what I wanted I asked for the first three Harry Potter books. And thus my odyssey began.

“ Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, at number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. “

That’s the first line. I didn’t move my eyes from the pages till I reached the last line. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. It was frenzy, my first reading of Harry Potter.  

I remember I read through the night and went to school the next day. And I wasn’t even drowsy. That was the level of my excitement. After seventeen chapters and loads of awe filled moments I was hooked!

I couldn’t wait to get back home and read the 2^nd book. How intriguing is a name like “chamber of secrets” be? Pretty intriguing.

Soon  had read all three books. My mother promised to buy me the fourth book if I did well in my finals. Best incentive ever!

By then a proper fan club had been formed in our school. India too had discovered the most popular bespectacled boy and the HP craze was all over the news. The Chosen One had arrived.

Its been 11 years and The Boy Who Lived has never bored me. Ever time I re- read the books I discover something new. And the Adrenaline rush I get whenever I talk about HP has not decreased a bit.

I don’t think I will forget the year ever. It was 2001 and I became a Harry Potter fan. For life. 

You've come a long way, Kid! Part 2

My natural instinct is to be over-sensitive, moody and reserved.

I however realized that these characteristics could end up becoming my Hamartia- my fatal flaw. So I needed to change that. I started to de-sensitize myself. Every small thing needn’t hurt me. I started letting go of my grudges. And since I was confident about my abilities now, I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, my actions, my words. Yes, I did and still do care about what my friends and family think about, but that’s about it.

I am still moody but I have learned to control my moods to a certain extent. I still get cranky when I am hungry.

And about being reserved? I am still a reserved person at heart but somehow people have a different image. I am friendly, I talk to people. Smile, sing, laugh, joke around, act crazy. Who would say I am reserved?  Not that I am faking all this. All the jokes, the fun is part of me. But I do have a quieter part. Only a handful of people have gotten past the surface and seen my serious side. My shy side. I don’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. ( except when I write, that is)

I sometimes wonder if I can become the quiet girl again. I don’t think I can, even if I wanted to. Whenever I am a bit quiet my friends think something is wrong. Not many people like silences. But its true that I talk more now and cant go back to being the person I was. I used be able to stay quiet for hours. Not anymore.

I can now move on. Let go. Accept changes. Let things run its course. Or just let them be.

I believe a lot in destiny. I was destined to write. But if I sit tight, don’t do anything about it, don’t write. Then it’s my fault. Yeah its my destiny, but it is to some extent in my hands. I believe in the stars and everything. But I also believe in hard work. in making things happen.

Sixteen year old me wouldn’t have imagined such wonderful things happening to her. I did turn out to be OKAY. The future seems bright and atlast I can swim!

You've come a long way, kid!

Very recently a very sweet junior of mine described me as a “mastikhor”. That was the first time someone used such an adjective to describe me. I was surprised and very very pleased. Who would have thought that the erstwhile quiet girl like me would be called a “mastikhor”. WOW!

That got me thinking about myself. I turned 21 a few days back and that got me thinking some more. I have come a long way. I know everyone does. Just that I am so amazed at the changes in me that I would like to share it.

I was a terribly under-confident teenager for several reasons.

I was an average student to start with. And was demoralized so much for my poor performance in science subjects that I stopped believing in myself and as a result became a below average student. I hated it. More so because my parents believed I could do better. They could see it, I just couldn’t.

I wasn’t very athletic either( I still aint but I don’t really care about it now) Not being picked for any sport kinda hurt.

Since I was epileptic as a child I was on medicine till I was fifteen. I hated that. A lot. And I kept it a secret, none of my friends knew my medical past. I had to go for annual check ups and EEG tests. I wasn’t allowed to learn how to swim. Then of course by the time I was allowed life got to busy for lessons and well I was too embarrassed to learn.

So till I was around sixteen I wasn’t sure about my abilities in any field. I wasn’t even confident about my writing.

People grow up. They grow out of their gawkiness and so did I. somehow I gained confidence a few months before my class 10 boards. I got even more confident when I changed schools in class 11. ( More
of that some other time maybe)

People change. I am glad I did. I like the ‘new’ me better.

Breaking the fall

The other day while rehearsing for our play I tried the trust game with my friend ( lets call her Kaniti). You know the game where you let yourself go and fall? And your partner has to catch you from behind? Its not about strength but about trusting the other person. When I told her what to do and then fell she couldn’t catch me and a fell down. Got a couple of bruises too.



The point is I didn’t mind falling. I didn’t mind her not catching me. And I was willing to give it another shot. I still trusted her to catch me. And even if she didn’t break my fall for the 2nd, 3th, 4th and 5th attempt I would have still fallen for her. Still trusted her to catch me on her 7th, 8th and 9th attempt. And if my friend would have trusted herself enough she would have been able to catch me.


Have trust in your abilities as a friend. Friendship doesn’t require solving all your friends’ problems. I used to think so earlier and proclaim myself a failure when I couldn’t solve my friends’ problems.


Once, Kaniti and I whined together (Hell we almost cried but 21 year olds don’t cry I guess) we both had separate emotional burdens yet neither of us had solutions or a piece of advice for the other. But we did feel better after a bout of mutual whining. Maybe its about being able to whine together.


Sometimes ‘I am there’ isn’t a ‘constant by your side always’ presence. Its more of when you are in your lowest of low emotional holes, you close your eyes and you know that whatever shit happens the ‘ I am there’ person will still be there.


Most people will judge you when you are in your crappiest, worst phase; even your parents; not the ‘I am there’ person.


But then you have to have an ‘I am there’ person. You need to trust yourself, trust your abilities as a friend.


Trust yourself so that you have full trust in the fact that I trust you.

Almost squashed but determined

The other day I was sitting in the new merc, on a mission, following orders. Trying to trudge towards my destination. (One doesn’t trudge in a merc, I know)



Um well just wanted to sound dramatic. I was on a bus, on my way to college. Sitting by the window side, admiring the view. And what a view it was, men using the road as a public toilet, men crossing the road at the wrong time beckoning Lord Accident to descend on them. Great view.


I was enjoying the view wondering why I had forgotten my earphones forcing my cell to sit idle in my pocket.


I was alone (well, not entirely) No one was sitting beside me. Out of nowhere this lady materialized(Now that I think of it she must have boarded the bus and I like many others don’t notice who boards the bus when.) She sat beside me, even though there were other empty seats. Now let me tell you, I usually don’t have any problem if people sit beside me. No, there was a reason to be mortified. This lady was thrice my size if not four times bigger. I am no size zero but I do have a thin figure. So I can safely say I had reason to be apprehensive.

I could have managed somehow had it been just her size. After a few minutes she started complaining. About everything from the weather to the crowd, to the lady leaning against the seat. Everything. Then I realized that I had heard this woman before. She had, a week ago been sitting behind me in the bus, and i recalled  her complaining about everything the whole 40 minutes I was in the bus. And so I thought “I have to endure this for atleast 30 minutes. God." At that point she wondered aloud why she had chosen to sit there( a nice gentle lady was leaning against the seat at that very moment) I too repeated “I wonder why”


Her size caused me a lot more trouble than I had envisioned. She was pressing her weight against me so much that I was sure by the time I reached my stop I would be so thin I would get sucked into a straw if I ever try to suck from one.


I had to do something. I would love to be thinner but not so thin! I tried to tell her politely, but she was to busy complaining to even hear me. Maybe she had too much fat in her ears and one would need a microphone to be hard by heard.


I tried to shove her with my elbow. Unsuccessful. I think I now have a tennis elbow. I repeated this whole process of politeness and shoving twice, to no avail.


They say “try try until you succeed”. I did try a lot, but before I could succeed my stop came so I got down.