We are all fragile

Today is the 13^th day of mourning of my grandfather’s death. We lost him on the 9^th. Today we have officially stopped mourning. We had a hawan, followed by lunch. His favourite dishes were cooked. It was a goodbye; a tribute.

His death reminded me that we are all so very fragile. He was not ill. He fell. He was 86 and frail. And now he’s not there.

This is not a lecture about how life is precious and how we should all live it to the fullest and blah, blah and blah. No. All I know is I’ve lost a grandparent. My mom has lost his dad. 

Things change when you lose a parent. Dynamics change. Equations change. He was after all the head of the family and now he is no longer there. It shook me, his death. I  had very stubbornly thought that he would always be there.

The day he died, I was in denial for a very long time. When he fell I was resolutely thinking that he would live through it; even though the doctors  had  declared  that his survival chances were very low. 

They say time heals. My question is where is this time that heals?

From tomorrow we get back to our old lives. We resume work. My masi who came down from Delhi will go back home. Everything will normalize. Or as normal as can be. We will move on. Because we are humans and humans need to move on.

Just another adventure Dumbledore had said. He was 86, my grandfather. He did lead a not just good; a very good life. And I am lucky I had him as my grandfather. My nanu. And I know that soon, I too will move on.

But for now all I can say is thank you. Thank you nanu.

That's my nanu, me, masi and nani